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"Be with you in mo." She flung her gym bag in the corner and disappeared though a bead curtain into the next room, apparently the bedroom. I caught a glimpse of an unmade bed, clothes on the floor. The living room was no better: books, magazines and clothes lay about on every available surface. There was a tennis racket lying on a rug in front of the fireplace, and a line of socks and knickers drying on the radiator. "Sorry the place is such a dump," she said. "I'm a total slut when it comes to housework." Not at all. I love what you've done with the place." "Ha! Sarky bastard!"Through the bead curtain, I noticed a dark coloured garment suddenly flung onto the pile on the floor. Martina, hidden around the corner, was apparently getting changed. I peered intently at the strip of fabric she had discarded. Had the lovely Martina taken off her yoga pants? A mental image of her standing bare-legged in the corner of the room, while she browsed the wardrobe for something to wear, sprang. "I admit it. Preggers; three months! But you know how it is -well, some of you will - you start to get strange desires at thisstage. Some girls want pickles and ice cream. I wanted to stand up infront of a roomful of strangers and tell them about my private parts.My boyfriend thinks I'm crazy. Well, nothing new there."A couple of women in the audience cheered and there was even asmattering of applause. I was getting them on my side. Time to go forbroke!"So what's the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb?"Beat. "You can unscrew a lightbulb."The more pregnant I get, the more strangers smile at me. Why?Because I'm fatter than they are, obviously."People were now laughing all around the room, even the men."How do you win an argument?" Beat. "Be pregnant. That's it! You'redone"What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a terrorist?"Beat. "You can negotiate with a terrorist."A woman doesn't know what happiness is until she's married. By thenit's too.
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